Friday, September 19, 2008
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
psalm 20:7
it was spoken twice, once through pastor jeff, once through RZIM's Stuart with "wisdom to live by: in the face of fear". i listened.. and somehow, fear gripped me hard as i travelled home. why? because:
1. its my second time doing promos and... results are out next week
2. what is really going to happen for this ministry next year? when everyone's.. gone.
3. my parents are in Malaysia now... paranoid? its just the lack of their presence at home. i have to do laundry alone, cause brother's sick. i washed the dishes. and... i'm just here alone typing this.
4. fear that i might Miss the mark of serving God. fail to meet expectations, losing sight of things above, caving in to temptations that seemed so real.
i am limited. we all are.. and it humbled me a lot. so much more than i would expect. God showed me that, things can be unexpected. i may worry a lot, but listen to where my thoughts are going. its not paranoid, mind you. Stuart screamed into my earphones the words that shook me hard. we fear, that God, might not react to our circumstances. we have bad experiences where we prayed ever so devastatingly but our prayers seemed to be left out. well, for most of us, especially for me, our lives are expected to be like this:
but good news, jesus said in the GC that "go and make disciples" right? he didnt say anything about coming back.=/ crap huh, but thats life, it doesnt mean God is not fuzzy wuzzy like the picture above. he is in fact, if you think about it. but our world's not like that, but we have a fuzzy wuzzy entity that we cling on to. you and i, our lives are gripped with fear, but fear diminishes as God is glorified. i dont know about you, but, i need this kind of hope. i'm weak. but i'm made strong in weakness. thankfully. so as i evaluated my fears, i looked at them as questions, that only jesus can answer.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
psalm 20:7
i need to learn to trust, his answers may not be up to my expectations, but there's always something greater that prepares me. i got pruned tonight.. hahaha
so i'm all pumped up for the week ahead. caregroup. our worship session with j1 pillars
and i want to revisit the NATIONAL MUSEUM! WHO'S IN?! :D
oh, and there's guitar class for jc east a tml.
listening- piano spa 2, perfect for prayer.
10:31 PM
WORDcentered/greatCOMMISSION/SEEDcommunities